is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
