All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
