oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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