he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
