She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
