I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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