and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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