Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
