So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
