I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need to sanitize my soul.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
