Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
