my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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