Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.