I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
