: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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