he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
