everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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