I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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