Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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