I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
