well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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