is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
