This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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