he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
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what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
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the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize