She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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