Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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