Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
