Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
