I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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