lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
