Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
True college students do jello shots in the library
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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