Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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