I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
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There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
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I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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