First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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