Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize