We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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