I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
