how can u be prego again
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
