you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
