Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
