Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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