I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Never underestimate the power of titties
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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