Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
