I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im six kinds of drunk right now
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
