how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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