It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.