Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
