He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
