forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
