fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
