My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
