you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
