Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
