just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
