i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
