I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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