Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
