Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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