Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
love makes seman taste better
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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