Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This is my gift to your gina
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
