never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
