I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize