we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
