My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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