I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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