I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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