we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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